1) Do what you love and you’ll never have to work a day in your life. 2) Don’t spend your life preparing to live. 3) Don’t be a schmuck.

So you do Banner Ads. Seriously?

That and some other stuff.

One of my earliest memories is riding in a shopping cart at 4 and trying to come up with new logos for products in the cleaning aisle. I grew up helping out in the family slaughter house, Rotches Pork Packing. Now I design and direct banner ad campaigns and Art Direct on large websites and interesting multimedia applications. My specialty is designing environments that make people click... and then buy stuff. Full work history »

I like pretzels more than chips. I enjoy the journey. I'd hardly do anything at all if I only acted on my good ideas. I like getting really good at dumb things. I base happiness on the ability to take and give a joke.

I've got a wife, 2 daughters, 2 cats and a dog that plays dead until resurrected on command. I like to keep busy with quite a few hobbies and my friends. Here are some of those things...

Mad skillz and projects

I play the tuba

I perform elaborate practical jokes often

It has always been my firm belief that if you do something funny, it should be screamed off rooftops or barely audible. The Scoopy McSyrup project combined both. It took 1 year, hundreds of people and thousands of stickers carefully placed all over the world.

My friend Kelly Shea and I started calling our friend John Painz, "Scoopy McSyrup", and he hated it. We told everyone he knew that it was his new name. Then we asked everyone he knew and complete strangers to take the stickers we had printed with his secret logos and put them everywhere they could think of. We then talked to his girlfriend, who told his family and their friends to do the same.

The key ingredient to this joke was that although John knew that we were calling him Scoopy, he did not know that he had a logo being posted all over NY, the USA and the world. He did not know about the CafePress store or ScoopyMcSyrup.com, or that we sold his stickers on ebay.

At the end of a year, we had a Halloween Party and packed a bar with people wearing Scoopy McSyrup merchandise and soda jerk hats with his logo on them. We had tricked John into adopting his nickname for his costume, convincing him that if he just gave in to the nickname, people would stop calling him Scoopy. He showed up dressed as an old-timey soda jerk and carried in 10 quarts of ice cream. His original reaction, a shocked and whispered "WTF", then violent screaming which was quickly ameliorated by some woman I had never seen before running up and asking him to sign her Scoopy McSyrup Thong. Surprisingly, he didn't kill us.

I play pool competitively in The American Pool Association

I collect joker playing cards

I can juggle fire

I host occasional pie fights

I take cooking classes

ZUCCHINI FRITTERS

A simple recipe that will always be favored at your dinner party.

1 large carrot, 1 large green zucchini, 1 large yellow squash
1/3-2/3 cup flour
1/3 cup fresh grated parmesan cheese
S&P, 1 large egg, veg oil

1) Shred carrot, zucchini, and squash (A cuisinart works best).
2) Squeeze out the liquid from them.
3) In a bowl, mix veggies, flour, cheese, S&P and egg. Add as much flour as you think it needs to help keep them from being too watery.
4) Using a 1/4 cup measure throw them into the hot oil in a 10 inch skillet and pat into patties with a spatula. Crisp (dark golden brown to dark brown) on each side and then put on a paper towel. Serve.

I am slowly carving the alphabet into pencil lead points

Some of these took countless hours and pencils to get right. This is the set as of 2012. It's my first barrel ahead try and the ultimate exercise in patience. I'm working on a more precise (font style, pencil height, etc) set for 2013.